CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
