I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize