nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
