Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
