PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
