I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
