I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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