so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
