I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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