drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
