He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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