I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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