so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
