Screwed.edu
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
