Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
