Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
