I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He shit in the fireplace
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