You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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