I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
