Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
