you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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