he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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