Ambien. No doubt about it.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize