i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
