Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
