On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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