At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
