i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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