Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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