ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
