Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
