he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
