You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
