Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
