tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
