mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
