hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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