ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
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