remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
