Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize