So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
