My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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