Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
