just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
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