@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
