ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
