Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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