I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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