??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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