first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Randomize