so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
