Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
