rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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