Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
