the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
