also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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