That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
