ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
