I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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